Well now, I noticed it's been a couple weeks since I made my last entry. So, I've just been thinking what should I share? It's my birthday today. I'm 37 years old now and at 2:15 in the morning I realized something...I miss my mom. She passed away a year and 4 months ago, in February of 2009. However, 37 years ago today and 11:37 a.m. my mom gave birth to me. This is now the second birthday I have had where she will not be here to share it with. Since I was thinking about her, I thought I would share with you what I shared with my congregation one week after her death...
Ever ponder death? I know I certainly have. It seems I have been around it a lot lately... It’s an incredible stage of life
Hard to understand it…yet it’s pretty simple.
You’re here…then you’re not here anymore.
Then there’s the why’s, what if’s, woulda, shoulda, coulda’s, if only’s…?
Then… where’s God in all of this? Why doesn’t He hear my prayers?
He’s the Great Physician…right…so get to it Lord! Where are you Lord… she’s not getting better… it’s getting worse…I have to make a decision Lord…what do I do Lord? She’s gone Lord…
About an hour after she had passed…I was taking family back to her apartment.
In the darkness of those back country roads the only thing I could think to do was sing a song of praise to the Lord.
Then I spoke to God:
“I do not blame You Lord and will not blame You… I do not accuse you of taking her, I only give thanks that she is now with you for eternity…and she wouldn’t trade it for anything. People tell me I will go through different things: Sadness, confusion, perhaps denial, and even anger… I have been through most of this already, but see no reason to be angry with You. Maybe it will hit me down the road…maybe I will be angry at You later, but as far as I know…You are still good. You always have been & always will be. No matter what we go through in this life or the next… You are good. I may not understand it and may not even like it… but You are always good & right in every decision.”
I have found this whole experience to be really testing one major trait of my relationship with God…TRUST. I talk about trusting God…I encourage & minister to others with those words…Trust in the Lord. My trust in God has been fully challenged through this experience.
Then it reminded me of a passage of Scripture... many are familiar with it. Jesus’ good friend Lazarus passes away. Jesus and His disciples are in another community several hours away. When Jesus receives word of Lazarus’ sickness, He doesn’t rush off to save the day. He continues on with the task at hand. Finally He goes to Bethany…one of Lazarus’ sister greets Jesus and… Let’s read it together in John 11 starting at verse 17…
On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. Bethany was less than two miles from Jerusalem, and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home. “Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.” Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.” Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
Jesus said…”Do you believe this?” I had to come to a major conclusion: I DO!
So I pose the same question to you…”Do you believe this?”
For each of us, we can say we believe something…but when our faith or belief gets challenged…then we REALLY see what our belief is.
I am comforted at Jesus’ words, because I know that my mom loved her Lord and spent most of her time imitating His life. She was selfless and did without a lot so others could have more. She looked to the needs of others before herself. If I can become half as selfless as she was, I will do a lot of good in this world, as I know she has in the way she has touched so many lives. I rest assured in the words and promises from the Bible…
· Jesus is the way the truth & the life… John 14:6
· Know the truth and it will set you free. John 8:31ff
· Blessed are those who mourn, they will be comforted. Matt 5:4
Also, 2 Corinthians 5:1-10; 1 Corinthians 15:50-58; 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18
I tell you the truth…I don’t understand it all…but I know that God does…and that is good enough for me. For who can probe the depths of the Almighty? His ways are higher that our ways…His thoughts higher than ours.
Remember, I’m praying for you…we’re all in this together.
Ever ponder death? I know I certainly have. It seems I have been around it a lot lately... It’s an incredible stage of life
Hard to understand it…yet it’s pretty simple.
You’re here…then you’re not here anymore.
Then there’s the why’s, what if’s, woulda, shoulda, coulda’s, if only’s…?
Then… where’s God in all of this? Why doesn’t He hear my prayers?
He’s the Great Physician…right…so get to it Lord! Where are you Lord… she’s not getting better… it’s getting worse…I have to make a decision Lord…what do I do Lord? She’s gone Lord…
About an hour after she had passed…I was taking family back to her apartment.
In the darkness of those back country roads the only thing I could think to do was sing a song of praise to the Lord.
Then I spoke to God:
“I do not blame You Lord and will not blame You… I do not accuse you of taking her, I only give thanks that she is now with you for eternity…and she wouldn’t trade it for anything. People tell me I will go through different things: Sadness, confusion, perhaps denial, and even anger… I have been through most of this already, but see no reason to be angry with You. Maybe it will hit me down the road…maybe I will be angry at You later, but as far as I know…You are still good. You always have been & always will be. No matter what we go through in this life or the next… You are good. I may not understand it and may not even like it… but You are always good & right in every decision.”
I have found this whole experience to be really testing one major trait of my relationship with God…TRUST. I talk about trusting God…I encourage & minister to others with those words…Trust in the Lord. My trust in God has been fully challenged through this experience.
Then it reminded me of a passage of Scripture... many are familiar with it. Jesus’ good friend Lazarus passes away. Jesus and His disciples are in another community several hours away. When Jesus receives word of Lazarus’ sickness, He doesn’t rush off to save the day. He continues on with the task at hand. Finally He goes to Bethany…one of Lazarus’ sister greets Jesus and… Let’s read it together in John 11 starting at verse 17…
On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. Bethany was less than two miles from Jerusalem, and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home. “Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.” Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.” Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?”
Jesus said…”Do you believe this?” I had to come to a major conclusion: I DO!
So I pose the same question to you…”Do you believe this?”
For each of us, we can say we believe something…but when our faith or belief gets challenged…then we REALLY see what our belief is.
I am comforted at Jesus’ words, because I know that my mom loved her Lord and spent most of her time imitating His life. She was selfless and did without a lot so others could have more. She looked to the needs of others before herself. If I can become half as selfless as she was, I will do a lot of good in this world, as I know she has in the way she has touched so many lives. I rest assured in the words and promises from the Bible…
· Jesus is the way the truth & the life… John 14:6
· Know the truth and it will set you free. John 8:31ff
· Blessed are those who mourn, they will be comforted. Matt 5:4
Also, 2 Corinthians 5:1-10; 1 Corinthians 15:50-58; 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18
I tell you the truth…I don’t understand it all…but I know that God does…and that is good enough for me. For who can probe the depths of the Almighty? His ways are higher that our ways…His thoughts higher than ours.
Remember, I’m praying for you…we’re all in this together.
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